DEAR OPHELIA

DEAR OPHELIA,

First of all, don't act in a precipitous manner. For all we know your love for this "prince" could be ephemeral. I must warn you now, that what I am going to say next may seem abase, but it is not intended to do so.

When it came to your letter I was surprised by the brusque length of it. I assumed that love was something expressed in many words rather than just a short cry as you have done. But now I must look at the content of your letter. You mentioned that both your father and brother hate him, and don't worry too much on this fact this isn't an anomaly, most fathers and brothers are just trying to look out for their beloved daughter and sister. But I must mention, what are the manners of this prince that you claim to love. Is he an abomination? Or some sort of saboteur, that would only pretend to love you for the sport of it? Most members of royalty are rapacious, and should this union end on ill will he may hold rancorous feelings toward you. I don't mean to make this letter a conundrum, I myself am very confused at your situation. In fact to me your situation, seems quite like a paradox. And although now you may find my advice quite rude, I am actually trying to expurgate this letter.

But now on to the subject of your prince. Is he actually royalty? Or are you just calling him a prince, because you consider him your prince. If he truly indeed is a prince, that simple fact will greatly increase the difficulty of this situation. Because if he is a prince, and you are not of royal blood, he will have to abdicate his throne to marry you, or you two will be participating in a debauchery, which I cannot condone. Whatever you do don't proliferate your problems!

Maybe your love for him is ephemeral. Please don't be bellicose, towards me, or behave in a churlish manner. (although I find the use of the word churlish a type of anachronism)

Remember, if this doesn't work out, as I suspect it won't, don't be gauche. Find another suitable suitor soon.